BLOG #55
MY EX WIFE MARTHA ELENA GONZALES
AUGUST 30, 2026
Martha owns a place in my heart that no one can ever take away from her. I have included that assertion in every dialogue about our ten years relationship. Martha has been the only woman with frequent access to my brain during my nightly dreams. And such dreams have always been non sexual, but very pleasant, just sharing routine daily events, as if we were still together. She has always been included in my prayers with love. I am sorry that we couldn’t stay together for life, sharing oneness and divine love. I have asked her for forgiveness for all my errors and for my egotistical loveless actions during our marriage.
I met Martha in the Summer of 1973 through her late sister Guisela. At 16 years old Martha had the sexy body of a fully developed young woman. A 16 years old woman is not a child. I was highly impressed with her beauty, but not so much with her crazy conduct at that time. Martha was dating a man and escaping with him every weekend, after her parents left their apartment about 9:00 p.m. to visit some relatives. They never returned until after 4:00 a.m.. They trusted Martha with the safety of her four younger sisters. But Martha betrayed that trust and went away to party soon after her parents left their apartment. That was a very crazy and highly risky conduct. Anything bad could have happened to her. I left and didn’t return to their apartment during few months, however I couldn’t get Martha out of my brain. In part, because I became concerned about her safety, but also because I liked her.
One day I decided to call Guisela to find out how Martha was doing and Guisela told me that Martha was acting crazy because her boyfriend had left her. The next day I called Martha and started a friendship with her over the telephone using a fake name (Junior). About three weeks later I revealed my true identity to Martha and soon after that Martha had me replacing her ex boyfriend to take her out dancing every Friday and Saturday night. We loved to dance. Our favorite discotheque was “Wednesday”, located in Manhattan, New York City. We never consumed much alcohol and we never had sex. In fact, I never took Martha to my place. I justified my actions taking her out to dance thinking that with me, Martha was safe.
By the time that Martha turned 17 years old, I had introduced myself to her stepfather and to her mother, to let them know that I had good intentions with Martha and to seek approval to visit her to get to know each other better. They learned that I was a convicted felon, that I worked as a computer operator, and that I was divorced.
The unexpected took place on December 31, 1973, when I visited Martha to receive the New Year together. Her stepfather had his wife order me to leave, claiming that the party was only for family members and therefore I was not welcomed. I immediately left. I felt very embarrassed and humiliated by such an erratic conduct. Martha was very upset and followed me to the elevators. Her stepfather came out to order Martha to return to the apartment. To my surprise, Martha ignored him. Martha’s mother came out and also ordered Martha to return inside. Instead of obeying, Martha grabbed my hand in a sign of defiance and refusal to comply. Martha’s mother reacted by telling Martha to leave with me and to never return. I was totally shocked by such an unloving crazy behavior from a biological mother. How can a mother throw her child away like that? They went inside their apartment and locked the door. Martha didn’t want to return inside. We waited for someone to come out until Martha’s aunt came out. She gave me her address and I took Martha to that address. But when that aunt arrived, she refused to accept responsibility for Martha and told her to stay with me.
I rented a room for Martha in the private house where I lived. Martha was very upset and depressed, feeling traumatized by what had happened. I couldn’t turn her to the police. I couldn’t turn my back on her. I was the only person that she had. I immediately felt the need to protect Martha. We returned to her mother’s apartment when no one was home to collect Martha’s clothes. Few days later I accepted the reality that I had been given the responsibility for Martha’s life and we began living together as husband and wife. I rented a nice apartment and purchased new furniture and got us a beautiful dog. However, Martha was indifferent and not happy. We were not together by choice.
Since Martha was underage, I became concerned about having violated the terms of my parole. Out of fear I quit my good job to move to Florida, a bad economical decision for which I erroneously blamed Martha. One day Martha left me and returned to New York behind my back, but she wasn’t welcomed and was forced to return to me. When Martha turned 18 years old, we got married, notwithstanding the fact that we were experiencing constant disagreements. I just wanted to do the right thing. When she had our son, I wanted her to stop working and become a housewife, but she felt insecure and refused to comply. I accused her of being a bad mother and of not loving me. I had to hire babysitters to help me care for our son.
After being together for eight years, I filed for divorce. But we remained together for two more years, until I felt that we both had taken too many bad actions against each other to remain together. I added up the value of what we owned and got a loan to give her 50% in cash. She wasted most of those funds. Even purchased a car to her boyfriend. Then she paid a down payment on a condominium that she abandoned. Subsequently she wanted to return to me, but I rejected her because she had been with another man.
Our final separation was very painful. END
FRANCISCO FUSTER-ESCALONA