| Many people have asked me how it is possible that I have survived the hostilities of the life in prison for over 30 years, with my convictions of sexual child abuse, which received national publicity and resulted in a movie and several books. The answer has always been that my survival has been beyond my control. I credit the Divine Universal Consciousnesses that we call GOD. What other logical conclusion is there??? But I also recognize the proper use of my free will to always cultivate the type of thoughts that produce the energy that invokes the powerful and protective activity from the Divine Consciousness in my human experience. As a result, most egos can perceive the Christ Mind thorough me and honor it with kindness and respect toward my person. I try to keep connected to the Universal Consciousness constantly, which can be accomplished by anyone by simply staying in the NOW. ONLY THE NOW IS REAL. I have often been awaken in the middle of the night with an urge to urinate, to find my Mind in a dialogue with the Divine Consciousness. I AM GUIDED AND PROTECTED. I FEEL GOD’S LOVE. I FEEL THE CONNECTIVITY.
However, I AM NOT EGO FREE. To the extent that I identify myself with my ego worldly self, I am on my own. That applies to everyone, including you! Just like you, I must constantly keep my ego self under control to protect my peace. My ego self grew up in the South Bronx, in New York City, during the 60s. The New York Times designated the South Bronx as the most dangerous place in the United States during those years. The book The Cross and the Switch Blade, provides a fairly accurate description of my neighborhood. I had to fight to survive Public School 39 Public School 52 Benjamin Franklin High School and the Saint Mary Park, which was located on front of my uncle’s apartment. In addition to that background, as previously stated, I served almost four years in prisons of the State of New York, including two years in Auburn Prison, where I experienced a prison riot that lasted three days and left over 40 dead human beings, including some of the prison guards. It was a very horrible experience that left me with vivid traumatizing memories. During my current experience, sometimes I have unleashed my ego to have it protect my human body. Whether or not we are willing to accept it as the truth, all acts of aggressiveness and attacks are motivated by fear. As a result of fear, we attack.
When I began to serve my sentence in 1985, the Florida Department of Corrections assigned me to Florida State Prison, still the most dangerous place to serve time and the only place designated as a prison (The others are designated as institutions or as facilities). The day of my arrival the guards on duty were expecting me and had pasted a copy of a newspaper article about my convictions with my picture on the bulletin board of J Wing K Wing L Wing and M Wing (Those were the open population wings). One of the prisoners that was respected by everybody made me aware and we took them down together, but the harm had been done. I had 14 fights that first year, but I have never relied on a weapon to defend my body. And I never started a fight with no one. In fact, I avoided more fights than those that I had to take on.
One day a man walked up to my cell and impacted my life with the following statement: ‘Frank Fuster, if you continue fighting whenever people call you child molester, you will probably be fighting for the remaining of your sentence. Most of the confrontations in prison are limited to insults, not to actual violence. Look around you and see for yourself. You must understand that your convictions bring out the anger in many of these men here. I am not telling you how to do your time. It is just that God placed this message in my mind for you. Would you like to come to church with me?’.
I started going to church, notwithstanding the fact that I am not a believer. I had a Bible that a volunteer had given me at the Dade County Jail, but I had reservations about the allegations that the Jewish people had written down. Sometimes I felt like a hypocrite, because inside I was in a hell of my own design, full of hate and of a burning desire to take revenge. However, notwithstanding my rejection of the Bible, I enjoyed reading about the man called Jesus of Nazareth in the New Testament. Eventually I began to perceive that I had to forgive to be free from the hell under which I existed. That was a very long process. To be effective, I began to pray for the well-being of those persons that had contributed to have my wife and I convicted of crimes that had never taken place. Gradually, I traded my hate and my fears for the love of God. The fights and the confrontations had almost vanished. Only the prison guards continued harassing me. I learned how to rely on the Florida Department of Corrections Grievance Process to document major abuses of authority and to try to stop the harassments
I learned to adopt The Four Agreements based on Toltec wisdom:
1. Be impeccable with your words: Speak with integrity and love.
2. Don’t take anything personal: Nothing others say or do is because of you. They are only projecting their own reality, based on their ego self-thought system.
3. Don’t make assumptions: Ask questions as necessary to avoid misunderstandings. Express what you want clearly.
4. Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment. Select your current best now.
My road to a higher level of Divine Consciousness has been rough, but HERE I AM!
TO BE CONTINUED.
FRANCISCO FUSTER-ESCALONA. |
